Monday, February 23, 2015

Two Months In...

After two months, I can say my life is completely different than what it was when I started this blog.


I love where my life is right now. I know how I got here, but I didn't plan it; that's the best part. Life really does happen. I'm not suggesting that we sit back and wait for it to happen, I'm just saying you should live life and trust the process. Acknowledge progress. Welcome change. Learn from what happens. Be patient, but also be proactive- you can do both.

My professional aspirations slowly come into fruition as each day passes, having taken on a new position within the hospital. My interpersonal relationships are better as I reach out to people and maintain strong friendships. I have meaningful interactions with my friends. Not being in school posed as a problem at first, but then I realized that it would just take more effort. It would take reaching out, meeting up, and showing love! It's amazing the amount of love you receive back. I strongly suggest doing some reaching out. It's so easy to pull the whole, "I'm not gonna hit people up, see who hits me up first so I can see who my real friends are" thing. I mean, I guess? How much of a friend are you for doing that? The behavior you want them to exhibit is really the very behavior you should try. I don't see why not. I implore anyone reading this to reach out to those you "care about". Now, I'm not saying you should do it to everyone because everyone really doesn't deserve all of the effort. Some people really don't know what to do when that stuff happens. Some people don't know how to be friends! The thing we learn as children gets lost over the years after let downs, heartbreaks, and ever-changing personalities take the wheel. It takes work, but you can get back to that child-like love for people. It's extremely rewarding and enables others to revisit that same, somewhat familiar, feeling. Just a suggestion.

My more personal relationships are really at a point that I can't even believe. I recently went bowling with my brothers; something we've never done before. We had a really great time and it was all because we reached out to each other. One of us was consistent in his efforts to set something up. The others also gave suggestions and were open and receptive. It's something that's so simple that we often make harder for ourselves. One of my sisters' birthdays just passed and this phone call was significantly different than last year. Last year, because of little effort, the conversation was dry, dull, and forced. It seemed like it was only done because it felt like an obligation. This year was different. There was love in the conversation. An actual want for her to have a great birthday; and she did. If I had called with the same attitude as last year, I could have very well ruined at least one of the hours in her special day. My love life is at a place that it's never been before. I can not express enough the importance of friendship in a relationship. I'm at such a good place right now. The essentials are there. Strong friendship, mutual respect, understanding, trust, independence, humor, intellect, attraction, transparency; I could really go on. Time will tell where this will lead but I couldn't be more optimistic! I truly appreciate where I am in my life right now and things continue to get better- I didn't even think it was possible.

MUSIC. Music Music Music. I love music. If I could suggest any anecdote, let music help you grow. Music has been such an essential piece to my process. It provides an escape from whatever situation you're going through. It also enables you to reflect on what you're going through, especially if the artist went trough something similar. Music can provide something like an out-of-body experience. It really can take you to new heights if you allow it to.

I really appreciate everything that's happening to me right now. I'm grateful for the people in my life. I'm grateful for the life I have. Two months have gone by and 2015 really is better than 2014 for the most part. I'm eager to see what will happen in the months to come. Thanks for reading and I hope I've been able to help someone feel better about their current situation.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Now Tell Me That Ain't Insecure

Grow up. Okay, I don't mean that in a bad way. Better yet, just grow, or Grohhh! Really though, growing should never stop. It's really easy to get settled in who you are as a person, what you do, and how you think about things. I'm not saying you have to do a complete 180 every January 1st, but don't stop looking for areas to grow in! Growth really doesn't stop, if it does, it defeats the purpose.

For my own personal reflection, I just think about the different areas that I have been growing, and I try to think of areas that are in need of more growth. When it comes to owning up to what I am responsible for, I feel that I'm growing. I've really been doing my best to look at my situations and evaluate how I could do things differently. I ask myself if I could be more open-minded. I think about my actions and the effects on those around me. I think about the effects on myself that aren't always so apparent. When it boils down to it, everything that happens to you, in part, is your own doing. I know there are outside forces at work and this person or that person had something to do with it, but YOU did too! You don't have to be too hard on yourself, which I've been told I do, but just be real. It's amazing the amount of growth you can accomplish with just being real with yourself and others. When you can see your place in matters, it can enable you to think about things clearly, and be a little more open-minded. It's a lot easier to tackle situations if you're already at terms about your part in it; that way, if someone brings up your stake, you won't feel as attacked because you already know your place in the matter. This really works for me because I know if someone tries to tell me the part I played in a situation, I go into defense mode and nothing gets solved. Honesty is the key! You can convince yourself anything. You can lie to yourself about something until the point that you believe it's the truth, then it's a wrap. Honesty helps a number of situations and people because they know what they're getting from you. Also, With honesty come security. Everyone has some insecurities, but I feel (and have seen) that honesty can help one come to terms with their insecurities, which in turn helps lessen them.

I don't know. Insecurities are something else. I mean, what a storm cloud they are. You can have everything "going for you" and still be so disappointed at whats going on in your life. Even the most talented folks have things they deal with. I know they're a part of life, but so is self-love and confidence. Acceptance. Peace. Reflection. All of that stuff. It's easy to be insecure about something about yourself if you don't love it. If your body type isn't "commercial" it doesn't mean your body isn't amazing. Just because you aren't the best at something doesn't mean you aren't someone's favorite performer. It's important to keep good people around you because they definitely help ease those stressors. It's also important to remember that you are good at whatever you're doing. Remember that you are beautiful enough, smart enough, athletic enough, artistic enough, competent enough, and whatever other things you may doubt.

I'm not the most confident person in the world but a little confidence goes a long way. Confidence is contagious. Honestly, if you are confident in yourself, what's to stop others from being confident in you too? A leader is confident that they can lead. They take that confidence and put it into action. They show people that they have the competence and ability to lead, and people follow- not necessarily as subordinates but rather as supporters. I love that. I love role players. Everyone isn't meant to lead and everyone isn't meant to follow. At the end of the day, confidence is key to so many things. Believe in yourself first so others can believe in you too. Just like you have to love yourself so others can love you. The same goes for respect, treatment, appreciation, and other key factors to a healthy quality of life and social life.

I'm just ranting I apologize. I just want to promote "self". I think it's time to be selfish a little bit. Lots of people over extend themselves for others while giving themselves the bare minimum-which can be dangerous. Please think about yourself. Think about how your situations will affect you in the long run. Love yourself. Treat yourself right. Your self-worth will encourage others to treat you accordingly.

I appreciate people reading my thoughts. I'm just trying to document what I'm going through that's surface level enough but still personal enough for it to be relatable.

Do you love you?