Accept Love

This post is coming after lots of conversations, thoughts, and dreams. I'm trying to understand why I've done the things I've done, in regards to how I treat people, and I'm learning so much. I've got so much growing to do and I'm just getting started. One thing that is constantly weighing on my mind is love. This isn't just intimate love with another person, this is self-love, brotherly love, and just love in general. I'm learning that I have to give more love to those around me. I have to make the people who are important to me feel loved. Above all, I have to make sure I love myself. It sounds so cliche, but it's true. You treat others better once you treat yourself better. If I respect my thoughts, actions, and choices, I can accept others.

Accepting myself for who I am allows me to accept others. This is a simple concept that often gets overlooked because of its sheer simplicity. I'm learning things about myself that my pride kept me from seeing. I'm learning that every situation I've been in has two sides to it, however I have been quick to only look to the side I had no control over. Here's the thing, my problem was trying to control everything else when I wasn't entitled to do so, instead of controlling my own actions. I used excuse after excuse to defend my actions instead of acknowledging my flaws and moving forward from them.

This is something I am working to get a hold on. Life is going to happen. People are going to do whatever they want, and I had a hard time accepting that. If someone is going to lie, they'll do it. If someone is going to cheat, same thing. One thing I did learn, however, is people will do better if the person is worth it. It's like the "player" finding that one girl that makes him realize that sleeping around isn't worth anything. Like the one girl that was so used to attention from guys but then realizes that those guys don't matter; what matters is the one right in front of her. When someone finds the person that accepts them at their low, it enables them to want to be better for that person. It makes complete sense! You accept my flaws that I know are there. Why wouldn't I want to work on the flaws for the one person that already accepts me, so I can be better for them? They made me feel that nothing's wrong with me, but I inherently want to strive to be better for that person. Acceptance is the key to growth. If we care for someone, we need to accept them for who they are; not try to change them to who we want them to be.

The downside to changing someone is the "quick-fix effect". When this happens, the change is made right then and there. It seems to work for a period of time, but if the change isn't inherently wanted, it'll be rejected. What may follow is resentment, anger, distrust, and feeling controlled. Someone won't feel controlled if they want to make the change for themselves, but they will feel controlled if they just did it to satisfy the other party. This quick-fix does not help anyone in the long run. If a person is to change, then they have to believe the change is something they will want for themselves first, then for someone else. That is how a positive change can be made, which allows for all parties to benefit and the acts to be genuine.

All in all, Acceptance is one of the many keys to growth. Accepting myself for who I am, currently, will allow me to grow to be an even better person. The thing about acceptance is that you aren't a bad person for the way you are. There's nothing necessarily wrong with you. However, there are areas of growth that may need tending to, and it's up to you to put in the effort. Accept yourself, accept others. No one is anywhere near perfect, by "society's" standards. But, you can be the perfect you; if that makes sense.

Until Next Time,

The Backseat Driver